Reflection of 2 0 1 8. .
As we entered into 2 0 1 9. .
I did a lot of reflections of 2018 and W O W. .
I shot over 1000+ sessions on 2018 and it was a crazy year to say the least. I started the year, with a few sessions a week. . ending it to 50-75 sessions a week and overwhelming it was. .
With doing so many sessions per week you easily get “soaked” up into your business and it’s nobody’s fault but yours. . Why? Well because 2018 got crazy. . there were multiple family deaths. . causing multiple family trips. . There were multiple family injuries, lots of nights of crying because being away from family is hard. Then what hit me, was when a family member attempted suicide. . and I went down from there. I went down a deep path at the wrong time of the year —the busiest season of the year. . and it was ROUGH.
I mean, I was just not feeling myself. I was crying at multiple family sessions and my clients, so understanding didn’t deserve that side of me where they felt like they needed to comfort me after their session was done. I was feeling alone. . we wen through some TOUGH times in our marriage where my husband and I were at rock bottom and he was TIRED of my sessions, tired of my “work” and you would hear about it. . .
My friendships went down the drain, as I was so caught up in driving to and from sessions. . and couldn’t make time for any of them.
My son was “not my priority” and honestly it was so devastating. I was sitting behind a computer ALL day long. I was putting a movie on, to edit or giving him my phone to answer emails and then once all caught up, I was dragging him out to sit in a stroller to do sessions. .
With all of that going on, I made MULTIPLE mistakes that I am not proud of. Having a huge client base, of course means that your schedule is busy, among-st having a full family, speech, volunteering and just trying to be a mom. . and wife — and it showed sometimes which I am not proud of. .
And I know you’re probably thinking: You killed it by doing 1000+ sessions. . . but honestly with 1000+ clients and sessions, there were more than I expected who were not happy with me for reschedules, feeling like I didn’t care about them and just feeling like I wasn’t the best suit for them, which I totally understand and it hit me HARD. . .
Many nights, I was up crying about a client who sent me a nasty email. . calling me names, harassing me in text messages, sending their friends or their family to attack me. . Many nights I stayed up crying to my husband because I didn’t know how to make a situation go from bad to good. . or how to please a client enough (i’m a huge people pleaser) and sometimes. . just thinking that I was too open with venting that it made a lot of my clients uncomfortable — but my clients became my only source of venting as I had previously lost so many friends being so caught up in my work. . .
So, as I reflect. . . I want to say if you’re reading this — I know I am not perfect. I own up to my mistakes. . but also know there is always two sides to every story. . Sometimes people would leave me mean messages simply because I couldn’t reply to a text fast enough or because I didn’t answer stop and answer an email right at 2 am. . and sometimes there were times when I would slip up and make my own mistakes. .
If you’re reading this and you’ve ever felt like you were dealt the bad end of the cards, I am truly sorry. I am such a people pleaser and it hurts that clients would ever feel that way, but I know that there are some out there who do and although I’m not perfect, I surely don’t ever want anyone to feel like they were not cared about, loved or appreciated. . <3